Family Court Is Not How You Think It Will Be
Clients often ask, “Will the court understand my story and protect me and my kids?” The short answer is, not necessarily. It is not a foregone conclusion that the court will thoroughly read your filings, “hear” your story, see what’s truly going on between you and your ex, or protect you or your children.
Most people’s perception of court is derived from fictional television shows, movies, and books, which depict long, elaborate jury trials during which attorneys take days to explain all the details of the case to a rapt judge or curious jury members who painstakingly deliberate to reach a fair outcome. That’s now how family court works. Family court hearings can be more like network news wherein talking heads offer dramatic sound bites designed for maximum impact in hopes of quickly swaying listeners’ opinions to their side of the issue. There is frequently no meaningful opportunity to offer elaboration or nuanced details. Even at trial, time constraints limit the number of witnesses and amount of evidence lawyers can present such that each party must carefully triage their presentation to focus on the most important matters, leaving behind points that seem important but for which there is no time.
Depending on your jurisdiction’s financial resources and how strongly they prioritize family law (which is often little), there may not be enough dedicated family law judges to allow your judge sufficient time to read your entire file. It’s not unusual for a judge to pick up your file for the first time the day of your hearing and spend minimal time reading it. This means they often skim or overlook attached evidence, or if your filing is lengthy, decline to read the entire brief. They go by the gist of what they perceive in the time they have.
Family court hearings are often shorter than you hope for, and you may have little or no opportunity to speak on your own behalf. This means you are being judged on what is in the court filings, on your appearance and demeanor, and on any responses to questions or brief statements you are allowed to make. I heard one judge say she assesses the parties’ credibility based on her own personal experiences. This illustrates the potential for injection of personal bias into your case. There is no way to know whether your judge came from a happy family, an intact family filled with fighting, a split-but-copacetic family, or divorced parents with one that was abusive. He or she might have kids, have no kids, dislike one of their parents, glorify the other, come from a “school of hard knocks” parenting background, or bring any number of preconceived notions to the table, which is why it is critical to put forward a clean case presenting yourself in the best possible light to avoid unexpected judgements.
In order to have the cleanest case to put forward, you must learn strategically and properly how to behave before and during your litigation and afterwards during your co-parenting journey, since litigation can recur at any time. I would love to teach you the art of “keeping your side of the fence clean” in the face of a disruptive, vindictive, high-conflict person who is constantly attempting to trigger you into a reaction that will harm your case. It may feel impossible to do, but with expert guidance you can make it happen! I believe in you.
Copyright © Jody Willson Pasicznyk, 2023, all rights reserved. Any unauthorized copying, reproducing or reuse will constitute an infringement of copyright.
